I'm at work, as I often find myself, and looking at wedding websites (I'll get married one day, right?) and I come across none other than the poem I previously posted when I'm looking for paper in my desk to sketch an invite. Funny, I think. I wish I could plan weddings for a living. This is fun ... and I have so many ideas ... I just can't wait to get married. Offbeatbride has led me to SOOO many new sites and exciting adventures. I keep wondering when the adventure will get cut short.
It's possible that at some point Loverboy will cut this adventure at some point, you know, when that breaking up thing happens. I'm terrified of that moment. More on that later. Perhaps. It's kinda hard admitting that I'm scared to the point of tears at the thought of Loverboy telling me he doesn't love me anymore or, worse, that he never loved me at all. Part of me feels it's inevitable. The other part tells me this is all too right. He's well, I'm definitely in love with this boy. Big time. Like, scary big time.
And he's planning on proposing apparently ... so that's all kinds of exciting. And nerve wracking. And then there's all the stuff to worry about ... like cost of the wedding and stuff ... and what if it doesn't work out? I'm not sure I could handle that. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I feel so weak and able to be crushed ... like I'm just fragile. Maybe just like my little paper house.