{thanks}
Yeah, this picture is pretty much perfect to me. I found it on le love and it made me swoooooon! It's definitely how I feel about loverboy. And a wedding right there in the grass clearing there would be beautiful, wouldn't it?

Anyway - to the heart of my update. Last night I had a TERRIFYING wedding dream. Like, beyond terrifying actually. I cried my eyes out in the dream, during the dream in real life (I woke up to Loverboy asking me why I was crying) and then continued to cry when I woke up.

It went something like this (I can't remember it all - that's just how dreams are - they can be vivid one moment and totally broken up the next):

We decided to get married so Loverboy could have insurance. We figured, "hey, we're gonna do it anyway - and that makes sense." Nevermind that it makes NO SENSE AT ALL. Loverboy doesn't have medical benefits right now, no, but that's because his job doesn't offer them. And he doesn't get paid enough right now for us to even THINK about getting married in the next 6 months.

After we decided to get married, we wanted to go to the JOP. We had it all figured out - just get married now, move in together, then later have an official ceremony and reception. Okay, so this took care of the money problem - and it would make sure we'd be living together which we just can't wait to do full time.

So we talked to his parents. They were slightly disappointed but okay with it. Then we talked to my parents. Totally different story. My mother went all "mother of the bride-zilla" on us. Saying "my daughter will have a real wedding - something I never got" and got on the phone immediately to start planning. This, btw, is nothing like my mother. Of course she does not agree with us getting married in a courthouse (something we're considering since we don't currently belong to a church) because she's so freaking convinced I will NEED to walk down the aisle. But she wouldn't go crazy like this. No, not at all.

Skip to the day of the wedding. I find myself at the church I grew up going to. The church all of my cousins get married in. The church several of my friends from high school have gotten married in. The church I quit going to at 13 because I didn't like the injustice represented there. The church that had the nerve to kick the guy out who helped me in accepting Christ into my heart because he interpreted one small part of the bible differently than the pastor. And I started crying. Then I looked down at my dress. It was not my dress. Oh no. Remember the dress I fell in love with? IT was nothing like this. It was more like this:

{thanks?}

Can you imagine the bloodcurtling scream that emitted when I looked down and was wearing that?

So I screamed. And I cried. And my mascara ran down my face. I walked down the aisle to a keyboard version of Cannon in D (one my favorite songs, btw) but played on one of those electric organ settings (picture lap keyboard made for ten year olds in the 90s).

Needless to say, it is no surprise that Loverboy woke up wondering why I was crying. And it's no wonder I felt like I was falling apart. Ugh. I die.

Anyone else have wedding terror dreams? I don't want another one of these as long as I live!